Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
