his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
