You smell like stripper and shame
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize