Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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