They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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