Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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