You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
