Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The power of my boobs compel you
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Come on in and take your pants off
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