I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize