i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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