I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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