that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
