He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
