Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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