so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
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We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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