do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
