He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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