Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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