Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
