I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
