White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
