She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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