he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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