Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
