We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
