dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
