don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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