This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
