smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
