Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
