I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize