you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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