I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
