Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
