Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
