oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Bring me that man meat
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
