I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
