Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
