Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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