Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
