Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
