Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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