you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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