okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize