either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
