the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
