Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
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