ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your cock deserves a montage
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
