toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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