Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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