i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
