No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
