I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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