Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
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It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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