Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
