oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
