I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
